What's on Sakima's Mind now?

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Cat Bathing As A Martial Art

A. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.

Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend
that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than
a politician can shift positions.)

B. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself.

I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

C. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)

D. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.

You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

E. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He’ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don’t expect too much.)

From the latest WorldStart-Just for Laughs Newsletter

Filed under worldstart cats Laughs

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Ben Stein on Holiday Trees

Ben Stein

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as “Holiday Trees” for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America …

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Read more …

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Reading Isaiah as Christian Scripture

What would a PhD in Biblical Studies from Oxford eat
at the First Thanksgiving meal?

Its a windy and rainy afternoon in the late summer of 1621.  With his preliminary research tightly wrapped in his suitcase, our imaginary friend takes a break from his studies at Oxford to board a ship that would take him to visit his uncle who lives in the Plymouth area.  What would he find at the First Thanksgiving meal?

[NOTE: The best existing account of the Pilgrims’ harvest feast comes from colonist Edward Winslow, author of Mourt’s Relation: A Journal of the Pilgrims at Plymouth.]

No Turkey:
While there were wild turkeys in the Plymouth area, Winslow’s first-hand account of the First Thanksgiving included no explicit mention of turkey. He does mention the Pilgrims gathering “wild fowl” for the meal.  This more likely meant ducks or geese.

No Cranberry Sauce:
Making cranberry sauce requires sugar. Sugar was a rare luxury at the time of First Thanksgiving.  So while cranberries were available, the partakers of this first feast most likely did not have cranberry sauce.  What’s more, it’s not even entirely clear that cranberry sauce had been invented yet.

No Potatoes:
White potatoes were virtually unknown in England at the time of the Thanksgiving feast, they were only raised by specialized botanists at the time and were not a part of the English diet. Sweet potatoes were, in the early 1600’s, imported into England from Spain and were used only by the ultra wealthy for their purported aphrodisiac properties.

No Pumpkin Pie:
Two key things were missing.  Butter and oven.  The Pilgrims probably lacked the butter and flour needed to make a pie crust.  It’s not clear that they even had an oven in which they could have baked a pumpkin pie.

So what would our bidding PhD in Biblical studies from Oxford eat?
The original menu included: venison, duck, fish, lobsters, eel, mussels, oysters, Corn, parsnips, collards, turnips, spinach, onions, dried beans, dried blueberries, grapes, nuts, English cheese pie, cornbread and pumpkin pudding.

What would our PhD in Biblical studies from Oxford experience at 1621 Thanksgiving Meal celebration?

The celebration lasted for three days, not one, and consisted of intermittent feasting and entertainment (games and shooting of muskets).  There were no forks at the time – just knives and spoons, and plates were wooden.  It was most likely held in October, not November.  There is no evidence that the Indians (Wampanoag) were explicitly invited.  It was not called “Thanksgiving”. It was a “harvest festival”.

“By the goodness of God, we are so far from want that we often wish you partakers of our plenty.” – Edward Winslow – December, 11, 1621

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(Source: readingisaiah.wordpress.com)

Filed under Thanksgiving Oxford First Thanksgiving Meal 1621 Pilgrams Plymouth Edward Winslow Wampanoag Indians Christian Scripture readingisaiah.wordpress.com Reading Isaiah